Grief is a reflection of what we love and it’s all-encompassing. I was heartbroken and bereft over the loss of Ziggy. My escape to nature was severed. I didn’t leave my loft for a year. I felt lost, purposeless. I didn’t know who I was without him. The act of painting became a cathartic extension of my grief, an attempt to find meaning and a way forward.
Caring for Ziggy's emotional well-being and supporting his physical decline was my highest priority, and I had been doing it for a few years. I was always crying and it reminded me of lyrics to the song of the same title:
And I belong in the service of the queen. And I belong anywhere but in-between. She's been crying and I've been thinking. And I am the rain king.
I longed and fantasized for an advancement in science, recalling many science fiction shows, so that I could miniaturize Ziggy and bring him home to my studio loft in the city for 24-hour care and companionship.
I created a sculpture of a horse called "King of Pain" to use as a reference for this painting.