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Grief is a reflection of what we love and it’s all-encompassing. I was heartbroken and bereft over the loss of Ziggy. My escape to nature was severed. I didn’t leave my loft for a year. I felt lost, purposeless. I didn’t know who I was without him. The act of painting became a cathartic extension of my grief, an attempt to find meaning and a way forward.
Caring for Ziggy's emotional well-being and supporting his physical decline was my highest priority for several years. I was always crying, reminded of the lyrics:
And I belong in the service of the queen.
And I belong anywhere but in-between.
She's been crying and I've been thinking.
And I am the rain king.
I longed for a scientific breakthrough, like in science fiction, to miniaturize Ziggy and keep him in my studio loft for constant care and companionship.
I created a sculpture of a horse called "King of Pain" as a reference for this painting.
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